Seriously though, stop it.
The first time I realized how much we all apologize for truly stupid things actually brings up a super gross, cutesy story. You ready?
Circa 2009 – you can find me at my [now] husband’s house on one of our first “dates.” He put on some graphic Roman Gladiator movie that I don’t remember understanding a bit of while we flirted away. Several times throughout our conversation he kept apologizing for random things – jokes he tried to make, things he liked that I didn’t, a mention of something I was unfamiliar with. It was an “Oops, sorry,” or “oh, sorry,” and “mumble mumble, sorry.” Every time he said it, I thought, “What in the world is this kid so sorry for?!” Eventually, I took to one of our now favorite past times: a bet. I bet him one kiss that he couldn’t go the rest of the night without apologizing for something ridiculous. And what do you know – we had our first kiss that night.
Yeah, yeah, sappy I know. But really, we think back to that moment now and realize that he was apologizing for things he absolutely did not need to be sorry for. Was it fear of judgment? Trying to make a certain impression? Maybe. But it’s okay to flop when telling a joke. It’s okay to not agree on every single thing a partner, or friend, or co-worker feels or believes in. It’s okay to introduce someone to something they’ve never heard of and not worry about whether or not they’ll care. And it is certainly okay to be your own person, with your own thoughts, feelings, likes, and dislikes.
Of course, I’m a huge advocate of kindness and respect, AND I encourage you to think long and hard about the times you may have been polite or apologetic for the sake of pleasing others despite your own needs. This needs to stop.
Stop apologizing for saying things you mean, and for having opinions.
Stop apologizing for doing things you enjoy.
Stop apologizing for your skin color, religious beliefs, political views, body shape, or food choices.
And NEVER apologize for taking up space in this beautiful world. For being your authentic self. For feeling all the feelings.
Unless you walked into someone on the street while texting, screamed in someone’s face for eating your lunch, or stole from an old lady’s purse [among other obviously rude or illegal situations] there is no need to apologize.